Your dad has been gone for a week in Philly helping his mom move into a new place, so its been the boys and I.  Today I felt a little sad.  I think I try to pack to many activities in a short time- its Christmas so I want to have fun activities but all you want is to play.  That is not what made me sad, what made me sad was thinking that you both are growing up already.  I feel the baby bond slipping and it makes my heart ache a little.  Tonio, today you were a spicy pepper.  Fiesty, punchy, a little bully at the park and it hurt.  You have been my cuddler and sweet pea.  Now you use words you hear at school like butt instead of bum bum.  I cannot expect you to be my babies forever, nor can I expect you to be who I want you to be.  You will be your own person.  I am just not ready yet for to be teenagers already.

I think you both might be also getting ready for Arrow, boy #3.  I get nervous about disrupting the status quo too.  I just love you both so much.  I guess just being around teenagers at school all day, I know independent they can be and so foreign to adults.  It just scares me.  I am being sappy and hormonal right now but I love you two so much it hurts.  Even if I get mad and snappy at you.  I try.  Someday I want you to know that- that I tired my best.  I try to let messes happen, to let you be boys, and to relax.  It was not how I grew up.  I dont even really remember playing with toys.  I did only if someone else was.  I grew up an adult with the weight of my whole family history on me.  I try to do the opposite of my mom and grandma.  I want you to feel sad if you want, to play with me and dad, to be kids.  Sometimes I think it is hard for me to even play because I never really did as a kid.  I try.  I want you to know that.

Halloween

we told you a couple of weeks ago we could go to the Halloween store to buy a costume because I did not have a chance to make them. We went and it was horrible. All the boys' costumes were so violent- axes in the head, SWAT teams, zombie cops. The girls' costumes were all "sassy" or sexy. We said no and boy did Miggy flip out.

We did the goodwill route. Migs was a skeleton and Tonio was Luke Skywalker. We went to Grove St and had a wonderful Halloween. It was warm and clear and you both were so good.
Counting candy
Post trick or treat dinner

with Brandon, and all with your eyes closed


Toto you had laser like focus on the houses with candy.

With your zombie daddy waiting for the bus

Halloween parade at Marshall and Toto joined

wrestling and new haircuts

We tried to find a pool in Marin on a beautiful fall October day but they were closed for the summer. Instead we settled for throwing leaves and wrestling.


I tried trimming your hair and I gave you a bob- you looked like a girl your dad said. We had to chop your beautiful long hair. You were sad to loose your curls you said. Lets hope it grows back.

Fall 2011

Here is Arrow. He is a boy. I wanted a girl, oh well. Three stinkers.

Apple Picking in the Russian River. You liked it Tonio, Migs thought it was "boring".


Flag Day at Marshall Elementary School

Lazy Sundays
Sunday Streets and Miguel our rock climber

Sid the Science Kid at the Academy of Science

Birthday #4

Now its Toto's birthday. For months you would tell people when they asked how old you were, "3 but I will be 5 in a year." You just completely skipped over 4. We went to the river with Tony and swam, picked berries, canoed, and had your favorite meal "strings with cheese on the side" Daddy made you a beautiful pirate birdie cake, as requested. Tony bought every toy in the cereal isle for you too. You wanted a race track and dad bought you one that you are still playing with, a week later.


Just some funny Toto moments:
- When asked what you want to be when you grow up, "First I want to fix pirate birdies and then I want to be a kid fixer like Poppop and terry."
- The other night you told me I was your best friend.
- When I picked you up from school on Friday you saw me and ran and gave me the biggest hug.
- On Friday Morning after dropping off Miguel you said, "I love my brother so much."

Birthday # 5

Happy Birthday Miggy!







For your 5th Bday Miggy, we had dinner at our house with Tony, Manuela and Wilson. You had your favorite dinner hamburgers, chips, and homemade ding dongs. The next day we went to the Santa Cruz boardwalk. We went on rides, played video games and ate hot dogs. Your favorite ride was the log ride.

1st Day of Kindergarten

Miguel-

Today was your first day of kindergarten. It was a crazy day trying to figure out all of our new schedules but we managed. You and I took the bus to school and then waited in the hallway at Sanchez. We sat down at your desk and you started tracing your name. When it was time to leave you just started to cry and then sob. It broke my heart. I picked you up in my arms and held you, my sweet boy. It was so hard to leave you. After 10 minutes I had too and then I was crying outside. I picked Tonio up and we took a taxi to make sure we were there waiting for you afterschool. We ran around the cafeteria looking for you. When you finally came I yelled your name and I think it was relief for both of us. When asked what your favorite part of the day was, "Recess". I love it.

Preschool Graduation

Your graduation class.

Teacher Vanessa



Layla, your first girlfriend.


On Friday, August 5, 2011, Miguel graduated from Preschool. It was a cute little ceremony. Miguel was pretty funny up there because he couldnt stand still, made faces, had his tongue out and was generally squirelly. But overall he was very sweet and I look forward to many more graduations. I love you Miggy.

Venice Beach

For the 3rd summer we headed south to Venice. It was a great week of swimming, bike riding, collecting sand crabs, people watching, and learning to boogie board.

Billings the Magic City

We enjoyed a great vacation in Billings. Miguel- you swam and swam. You cold not get enough. You jumped off the diving board, did cannon balls, and would swim and swim. You loved Dexter too. We had a lot of fun on 4th of July. We swam, saw the Billings Mustangs, jumped in bouncy houses and had a great bbq complete with fireworks by Pop Pop. It was funny when Pop Pop was doing the fireworks, all of a sudden Miguel started screaming, "Its going to suck my blood. Its going to suck my blood!" It was so loud- all over mosquitoes.

You went fishing with PopPop and Daddy, had fun with the little house and went to see a movie with PopPop and Terry. It as a great time.

Fathers Day

We let daddy sleep in and then took the bus to the Ferry Building. We then scooted down to Pier 23 where we met Tony for lunch. Can you believe that you sat at the table for over 2 hours! Impossible. Then we headed for the bocce courts.

Things you say....

1. Dad: Tonio if you could be a bug what would you be?
Tonio: I would be aaaaaa.......... cockaroach!
Dad: What!? Why?
Tonio: Because they dont die.

2. Miguel: You are more of an eye roller and head shaker but you like to copy my expressions: "No way" "Cool" "Raisins really freak me out"

3. Tonio: I dont like guacamole. It makes me itchy.

4. Tonio: My room is a gorgeous mess!

Summer Camp with Mom-

Week 2 of Summer Vacation:

- We went to a lot of cool parks and you guys loved them. We went to the Childrens Center at GGP where you had a great time on the big concrete slide and swinging on the rope. Almost 4 hours. We had a pirate day where we dressed like pirates, made pirate hats, made a treasure map and talked like pirates; "arrhhh matey!" We went to the Yerba Buena Center and played on the big slide, the little river and I hid pennies (your treasure) in the sand. On Friday we traveled south to San Mateo to play at a water park. You both really enjoyed the monkey bars. You are getting to be really good at them. I loved the sunshine!

- Yesterday we went to Grace and Emily's 4th birthday party. You were the only boys and the grandpas loved you. One grandpa in particular, just sat there and played ball with you. Then you played with his hair, ate cake with him, told stories. It was hilarious.

- Then off to the zoo to see Spider Man and the Tarantula exhibit.

Kisho going to school

For some reason you both found it necessary to dress up like super heroes to cheer Kisho on his first day going on the bus alone.

Late again

Dying eggs at the river



This semester had been difficult. With work two nights, three school days and one Saturday, I have no time to do the things I enjoy- mainly being a calmer mom for the boys. One week left until summer! I have no job for the fall and I am nervous. Typical me- all or nothing. ...


An attempt to catch up....

5/17/2011
Today you both finished your first karate class. The teacher said Toto "did so so" and Miguel did well. Yet both were bad while the others were testing. What else would I expect out of my wild animals? Too bad no ice cream. I think as you progress you will like karate more and see what is about when its put together. I am keeping you in because the teacher is tough and you need all the discipline you can get. You both are wild! Sometimes its funny other times like last night when Myra and her kid came by and you were all over. Tonio, you are peeing on yourself on purpose, Miguel, you rip off your shirt and want to wrestle that anything that moves. It was ridiculous.


- Best part of my day? Watching Miguel and Toto's faces pressed against the window of the bus as it drove by.

4/24/2011 Easter

Who is that other kid lurking on the side? That is Kisho. Because I do not have enough to do--- I need to bring in another kid. Kisho is a 13 year old refugee from Sri Lanka and he is staying with us until he can be reunited with family in Canada. He is a great kid and really mellow. The boys love him- and use him as a jungle gym- hanging, hugging, starring, wrestling (of course) with him. We spent the first week showing him how to take the bus to and from school. Poor Miggy and Toto on the bus in afternoon for almost two hours. You both like the bus though. Now we have a routine and it seems pretty good.



See what I mean about the wrestling




Easter egg hunt booty
Bunny Cake